A Wasted Hiatus

I've been up and around for a while. I'm quietly celebrating the ongoing success of my housewide campaign to ignore [an unnamed party]. The success of course is seen in the widening spaces within the house, a welcome disencroachment of a house guest that was becoming too big for its britches, or had outgrown whatever britches it may have owned years ago when it transitioned out of the short pants phase of life.

If this works, and it seems to be working so far, it'll be great to wake up someday and not even have to think about it. It'll be great to have breakfast without a pink slab of something reaching around on my plate. I hate to see [an unnamed party] reaching up there or lying in wait, like a slice of ham waiting for beans. It's an unwelcome ambush, as most ambushes are.

As for now, I'm not declaring victory just yet. There's still a lot of heaving, hissing, heavy breathing, and slithering going on. The house is still suffering a major infestation. But for the most part, and this is just how I might've predicted it, the southern reaches of the house are widening out. That essentially frees up my room and the kitchen and the little hallway that goes from my room to the kitchen past the cellar door. But the dining area, Grandma's room, and the living room are still clogged to semi-clogged. Getting toward the north door, probably because it is north, is where the worst congestion is. A lot of the heaving and hissing are coming from that part of the house. At its loudest it's like sandblasting the side of a brick building. Typically it's like a balloon released in a room, that kind of snorting sound.

But the best policy I can follow -- and I'm coming awfully close to the edge of violating the policy -- is to ignore all this activity. Anything under there need not be encouraged by my attention at this point. Since I have no other good choice right now -- I suppose I could go out to the garage, since the kitchen door is freed up, and get the garden shears, but I'm going to wait till [an unnamed party] is smaller -- I decide to retire to my room, where I'm able to type this. Another good reason to avoid the shears is that the thing could still threaten Grandma's life. One thing I don't want to provoke is a choke hold, with my last memory of Grandma being anything like the contortions that would have to result.

And yet, biding my time, how great it would be to put a sacred sword or some other weapon up to [an unnamed party's] neck and thrust it in! It'd be very satisfying to slice [so and so] into pieces like a chicken. But that will have to wait.

I figured the weapons [an unnamed party] hid have to be on the north side, right where the thickness is the greatest. Now that the south side is pretty clear and the middle is fairly well wasted away, that's looking more and more certain.

The thing to do is to continue ignoring [an unnamed party], like I said, biding my time. And then, if there's any opening for last minute vengeance, I will seek the satisfaction of expressing and venting my blistering rage by hacking and hewing [an unnamed party] to a terrible death.