Paen To Bacon

There is no meat quite as gross and, at the same time, quite as delicious as bacon.

The pack is beautiful, vacuum packed, the bacon often in great alignment within. If the lean is more pronounced than the fat it's a visual sensation. But then it's also gross, because you can hardly stand to open it. When the vacuum leaves it's instantly flabby.

And not just the flabbiness, to touch it in its uncooked state is a fright. I'm afraid to touch bacon but I do. It's slimy. It has whatever microbes there are in it that make Lysol possible. And it looks terrible when lining it up to microwave. To me it looks like a meat taken by violent means, sliced right off the animal while it's standing there with its back turned.

But then, once the microbes are safely locked in the microwave being zapped, the bacon turns a crispy, sultry shade of done. And if you put some ground peppercorns on it, it's got those nice dark spots and look like something from a decent restaurant. It's good to eat at this point, moderately dry is the best. Too wet, the fat content's a killer. But overdone isn't that great either.

To paraphrase and expand on Maurice Chevalier, "Thank God for bacon."