Victory Or Defeat At The Hands Of The Industrial Powers

As I more or less predicted, while still trying to come across as optimistic, those industrial so-and-so's did indeed target me for internet elimination, wiping me out and my ability to communicate with the larger world.

They said they would, but I was hoping against hope that they'd be busy, or that they'd be too big to actually do it. Which is sort of a victory for me, because they're not so big now! They've been cut down to my size, taking on the little guy in a little, small-minded way. Even in my abject defeat, I'm still the victor, because I've reduced them to my own minuscule size. They're no bigger than me! I am the winner!

What I won, though, is only in a manner of speaking, as stated above, when you look at it from one very narrow and particular point of view. I wouldn't doubt it -- since they've shown themselves very creative in this whole matter -- that they also think they won, and that they are not cut down to my size. They're probably very puffed up about it, thinking that in their extreme size that they've managed to crush another peon under their boot. That's one way to look at it.

And it's not hard to see it from that point of view. You could liken it to crushing the grapes to make wine. There's a big crusher, the person doing the stomping, then there's the little grapes. You can't very well make the argument that the grapes win or that the stomper is reduced in size to the size of a grape. From the point of view of the industrial powers, then, their conclusion would be the same, that they remain their same size as do I. Or it could even be that they would see themselves as enlarged and me as reduced. I'm sure I would strive to see it from that point of view were I in their position.

But I'm not in their position, I'm in my position. Leaving me with no alternative, unless I were willing to completely undercut my own self-esteem and buy into a state of inferiority and defeat, but to see these matters from my own point of view, that is that I am the victor and they the reduced power, taking on inferiority and tasting defeat. That I will never do! That is my vow to myself!

Yes, they were able to knock me out for two days, or one and a half, because I'm back tonight, after endless fidgeting with the computer. They knocked off my internet. But that hasn't kept me from wandering neighborhood after neighborhood in this town looking for an insecure wireless access point. I guess I should've stood outside the Super 8 first thing. And even there I needed a password, which I got by making friends in the hall and explaining to this guy that it was an emergency, that I have a Nigerian uncle who's dying and that I needed to work out some of the details of his will. My little scheme worked!

The industrial powers think I have suffered defeat. But I think they have suffered defeat. The industrial powers think they have achieved a great victory. But I think I have achieved a great victory. And we can't both be right!