Believe me, I know how it goes. You're young, and perhaps you're at the peak of your sexual potency, and you cannot be held back, cannot be tamed. The last thing you're likely to do is listen to an old guy like me -- what would I know? -- when I tell you something that goes against every one of your instincts, that you'll enjoy sex more and you'll appreciate it more if you wait ... not until marriage, but until your retirement years.
There's nothing wrong with getting married. If you fall in love, go for it. But you should know that the biggest draw for people to one another are the more superficial things of appearance and selfish satisfaction. First, we're not looking at the heart of the other person, but at the external things; it's purely physical, body parts. Then we're seeking selfish satisfaction, what it can do for me, me, me, with no regard for the pleasure -- physical, emotional, or spiritual -- of the other person. But what if you were able to save those physical yearnings and the consummation for 40 or 50 years? Can't you see how it would be that much more pleasurable, as each of you has known each other through and through for so many decades?
Of course it'll be hard, but if you can do it, your golden years will be so much greater! It's just getting there that's the trouble. Because you're young, perhaps you marry when you're around 20, you're already past your peak, which came in the third or fourth week after your 18th birthday. You're completely anxious that you're losing it, so you want so desperately to start getting it on. Add in the fact that you're in bed together every night, and it's a situation of sights, smells, one another breathing, etc., not to mention your raging hormones urging you, tempting you, with everything they got that you must do it -- I'll repeat that, you must do it! But do you really?
If you catch yourself in time, you will start to think of the years ahead. Maybe you will think way ahead, to the time you turn 60 or 65. It's only 40-45 years away, which in terms of galactic time, measured in billions of years, is essentially nothing, a blink of the eye. You can do it! So you're 20 and you restrain yourself. If so, you've overcome the biggest hurdle. Because from there it's just a matter of constant denial; if you did it once, you do it again, then again, then again. At long last, you're 30. You're still looking good, your color's good, because you've maintained your sexual vitality intact. You're working out strenuously; you feel you have no choice. Then you're 40. Your midlife crisis is just a blip because you've denied yourself all your life.
Then 50, see how fast time is going when you keep it uncomplicated? But it's actually going to be the years between 50-60 that are the worst. One, you're having real doubts whether this was a good idea. Everyone else has kids and grandkids. But look at the additional problems they have too. Every one of those kids will cost them a million dollars in their lives. Two, you'll start thinking your looks aren't so good, with the wrinkles, losing your hair, and an assortment of other diseases and conditions that come with age. You'll start thinking, maybe we should've done it when the doing was good. But hold on, that's a deception! Because, remember, you aren't looking for superficial external thrills. Plus, it's too late now, you may as well hold on...
Finally, you turn 60, and now it's time to start thinking how it's going to be. Around 61-65, these are great years to start exploring the sex act. Find a good manual and memorize the location of things on the human body. These will vary from the man to the woman. In general, though, you'll want to be familiar with the area below the waist yet above the feet. Or to narrow it further, the area of the crotch.
OK, the time has come. You've officially retired, now it's time to let nature have its way.
I don't want to get too graphic about what this will entail, lest it tempt any young people. But just to keep it basic, you will discover things with your partner -- sensations -- you never dreamed existed. Nature is kind. When you come together, just let nature be your guide, although I would counsel keeping the manual close by your bedside, just in case you don't know how build and finish. I can briefly speak to that: You shouldn't have too much trouble, if you've faithfully taken your pills and started before 7 p.m.
Among the sensations you will experience will be the satisfaction that you did wait-- no matter how hard it was -- and now you're able to love and enjoy your partner, respecting one another, and knowing that it's not selfishness and the lust of the flesh, but the coming together of two spirits who've shared the best and worst the years brought. Finally, you're able to give and yield your all.
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