I'm Going Behind a Paywall

I have a huge announcement! Wish me well! Starting just a few days from now, there will be something very different about my blog: It will be behind a paywall, to be enjoyed only by paying customers.

Of course I'm very excited about the change. Because up till now -- it's been well over five years -- I've been writing my posts and putting them out there for free. But now, at long last, I've decided that I need to make a living. Getting disability for my game toe is fine, but it's not giving me enough disposable income to get out there and really enjoy life. Which is something that would be good for me. Also, it would give me more interesting things to write about, meaning more subscribers, meaning more money, meaning more disposable income...

I have a love for writing, of course. But love doesn't start to cover the expenses. And a freeloader readership, while nice for the added sense of life they offer to a site, doesn't generate a single dime. So now, or in a few days, all that's going to change. For those of you who can afford the subscription, you'll be in for some great things. But for those of you who can't afford it, or are too cheap to spring for it, that'll be, unfortunately, IT. But wait, I have a little good news later...

When the paywall goes into effect, the modest subscription fee to access the blog will be $100 a day. Or, if you'd like the convenience of going monthly and the chance to save money, I'll be offering a special $2,800/month plan. That gives you two free days in an average month, up to three days sometimes. February will remain full price, so I can recoup some of the costs of January and March. (Rates guaranteed not to increase through the end of the year.)

I know what some of you are saying, probably. You're questioning whether that's really modest. To you it seems like a steep subscription price. I don't know. It depends on how you look at it. If you want the best, of course it's going to cost a little more. Through hard work and endless dedication, I've taken this blog from literally nothing to the internet powerhouse it is now. That can't be free. Not if it's going to do me any good.

What a big step this is for me, huh? No more will I be writing merely for the love of writing, or to express myself, or to unburden myself of various compulsions! From now on, it's going to be cash, money, the big granola, that's my driving force. Like it was for Charles Dickens, and virtually any other famous author. Ducats.

OK, I said there was good news for those who may be financially strapped, or at least using that as an excuse. The good news is I'm going to make available four $5 vouchers a day. If there's a big demand for these, I will have a lottery to assign them randomly among those seeking additional help. Think of it as a "scholarship" for those who are hard up for five bucks. If you're lucky enough to get one, it drops the price significantly, into double digits. These will be good as a discount toward a one day pass.

Now, just to get into some logistics. It's tough building a firewall. I don't know the first thing how to do it. But my guess is everyone will need a user ID and a password. The key thing is, once I get your money I will put forth my damnedest effort to get you logged on. Eventually it will be so good it wouldn't be slicker if you used WD40. That is my vow.

This is it, folks! For those who won't be making this jump with me, it's been nice. I'll be sorry to see you go. C'est la vie, c'est la guerre. For those who will be continuing on, you are to be congratulated. Maybe -- it could happen sometime down the line -- I'll spring for some crackers and cheese when you're in town.